Posted by: Daniel Comstock | August 24, 2006

Parents’ Grief By Henri Nouwen

Many parents have to suffer the death of a child, at birth
or at a very young age.  There probably is no greater
suffering than losing a child, since it so radically
interferes with the desire of a father and mother to see
their child grow up to be a beautiful, healthy, mature, and
loving person.  The great danger is that the death of a
child will take away the parents’ desire to live.  It
requires an enormous act of faith on the part of parents to
truly believe that their children, however brief their
lives, were given to them as a gift from God, to deepen and
enrich their own lives.

Whenever parents can make that leap of faith, their
children’s short lives can become fruitful far beyond their
expectations.

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Responses

  1. Indeed it would be very hard to lose a child. I know a few people who have, and it was only God that brought them through that dark time in their lives.

  2. yeah it is sad that that has to happen but it just does

  3. Im Finding it so very hard dealing with the loss of my children at the moment. My partner left a month after my third Child was born and i seem too hav lost most my freinds due too them not knowing what too say or do and fear of the same happening. I hav few family members left and i spend most my time caring for my Mother who has cancer or at a prayer group. I have never felt so lonely in my entire life even though I Believe my Children are with God and also watch over me. I feel like I have no-one too hold, no-one too care for, share with, cuddle protect anything. I feel there is no human contact at all with anyone. I dont want too cope but every day force myself too get through another day. its the only challenge I can Just about handle. I feel useless and completely worthless. I dont like talking about what Im going through as I fear it will keep driving people away. The whole world is like an ocean swimming around me. The sounds, the sights, Smell everything. and I hav nothing too help me stay afloat. I have constant reminders every day when I look at another human being, just seeing them alive makes me realize how alone I am. This Grief will last forever and I go around every day smiling, singing, dancing and letting everyone think all is o.k. there is nothing that can describe the feeling you have when you lose your family.All I can do is remind myself that God my Heavenly father went through the same thing by sending His Son. Jesus Christ went through the same In being left too suffer when He Had suffered enough, And the Holy Spirit Goes through it daily in the Pain of being denied by those He chose to Create. And Mary went through it and a sword Pierced Her Heart as she watched her Son suffer and die. I feel very close too them. I just wish I where able to feel close to somone in this life though.

    • I saw your post and even though this email is a year later, I want you to know that you are not alone….there are many of us who have lost children. I lost my son Anthony, on February 28, 2003 and I will never be the same. My life continues to be vlived with the focus of “before Anthony passed away ” and “‘after Anthony passed away” that is the only lens by which my world revolves around. Please seek out others who have also lost children. CompassionateFriends.org is a great place to start. My faith continues to stretch me. I never thought this would happen to me. I continue to fight with God, asking all the same questions….how can this be, why me, not fair….the ones we all ask. But the answer never comes. Not in this life. But God is big enough for all the fighting we want to do with him. I continually show my frustration in prayer, in anguish, in tears, —- I will never accept the loss of my son….but have resigned myself to believe that God weeps with me….and that seems to offer me some sense of inner peace. Hang in there.


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